Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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