Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
