This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
