I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
