ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
