I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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