You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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