I heard we made out
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
