I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
