Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
