Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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