Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
