That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
home. puking in laundry basket.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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