Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize