What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
