U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
