It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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