One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize