My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
