and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
