i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She even gives head with a lisp.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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