I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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