Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
