so that wasnt chicken after all
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
