Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
