Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
