If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
