after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize