I hate your face
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
