My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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