All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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