They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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