I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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