Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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