i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
