You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
