the day after is always just damage control
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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