drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
