I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
