Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
