yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
