I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
