If that was your dad, he is hot
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
