Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
