i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
