BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
