Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
