It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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