I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
