No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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