I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
smell my finger.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
