Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
