Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
