Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I lost the right to judge tonight
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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