Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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