I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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