I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize