so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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